Brrr....

Brrr...

Wow, I am so over midwest winters. The only  thing  worse than dealing with cold, winds, snow/rain. Is dealing with the elements on crutches. I know it could be worse but that doesn't mean it is easy. I really just wish for good weather again, I promise I will appreciate the good weather when it finally returns.

Winter Coats ~ When I found a really good deal on Grant's winter coat I probably should have thought about getting a coat or myself. The last time I purchased a winter coat for myself was in 1996! Seriously, now it was a really nice ski jacket that held the test of time but still it's time for a new one.

Monday + Hump Day + Friday - Wrapped into One Day ~  It was teacher record day this past Friday. I quickly accepted snow days are intended for student safety, teacher days go on as scheduled. I was glad to be back but I still have a lot to do before the 2nd semester begins. There is also the big question of whether we will have school tomorrow or even Tuesday due to the weather.  A couple of days ago it was really looking like we were going to get hit with really bad weather, now it looks like we may just be a little south of the storm. Hopefully, for the sake of our long spring break we can get by with just a 2 hour delay but then again I am kind of hoping for a snow day or two. I woke up this morning worrying about Curriculum Mapper and that I haven't even begun to get mine together for the new reading class that I teach. It's hard to create a curriculum map with the minimal materials I have for the class and the fact that the direction of the class is always changing because the class is driven by the students needs not so much a hard core outline. You see I teach high school special education, my reading class has high school kids who read on a 2-4 grade reading level. Their individual needs are so "splintered" and I find I am regularly changing the direction of the class to try to keep up with their needs. I guess to solve the curriculum map dilemma I will just use the Reading Recipe book I use and let my lesson plans explain the changes...

Cleaning ~ In my last posted I mentioned I wanted/needed to clean out drawers, closets, and cabinets. Today, I spent some time cleaning up the "pit" in our house, otherwise known as my bedroom. My bedroom isn't perfect but at least it is better than it has been in a long time. I have a bad habit of letting my bedroom become the dumping ground for anything I don't know what to do with or when we are expecting company and I have 5 minute to clean the house. Am I the only one that does this?  I have yet to work on any other part of the house.

Surgery/ Doctor ~ I have a dr. appointment tomorrow with my knee surgeon. I am hoping he lets me starting "walking" again. I am allowed to walk stiff legged just as long as I don't bend my knee. I still wear my brace and use crutches most of the time but I can walk with the crutches. While this method of walking is better than not being allowed to walk and at first it was great but now I find my hips and back are hurting. I think/know I am hurting especially at night because my body is out of whack from the awkward movements I use to get around, especially at home.

Until next time ....

A New Year ~ New Start ~ New Direction

A new year often brings new resolutions. Resolutions that I usually forget all about by the end of the first week of the new year. This year I want to do things differently than I have in the past. I am going to make a bullet list of my personal goals.  The goals will be small and hopefully I can keep them up and not revert back to my old ways.

• House Organization ~ Clean out 1 new drawer, closet, cabinet, nook, or cranny each day. This should only take me about 15 minutes per day. My house is cleaner than it has ever been (on the surface) and now the cluttered drawers and junk that is shoved away is absolutely driving me bat crazy.  

• Exercise ~ Exercise 15-20 minutes a day.  I am currently on crutches and have been for the last 6 1/2 weeks due to knee surgery. They say, "You don't know what your missing until you lose it." I MISS moving my body. I didn't exercise much in the last couple of years but before that I was always active and enjoyed exercise. The sedentary lifestyle has really been tough on my body and I have gained a LOT of weight. For the time being my main goals are to do my physical therapy and getting off these stinking crutches!  I want to feel healthy and strong again.

• Money ~ I need to be more active in saving money for rainy days, a new car, savings in general, etc.... I am a single parent and I do not receive child support for my son. I do ok with money, just not great. I love to travel and go out to dinner with friends. Those two activities definitely cause a dent in my budget.    

• Dating ~ Meet men! That's what I need to do. It seems like a fairly simple plan. I mean, I don't have to marry the first man I meet but I do need to meet men. I don't go out much. After working all day as a teacher, tutoring 5-6 hours a week after school, being a parent, and then bar-tending 1 night out of the weekend; I don't have time or the energy to go out meet new people. Even when I have the energy I have to find somewhere for my son to go so I can go out...gee, I wonder why I stay home so much. :-(  

Let's see what the next few weeks bring in regards to my goals. 

WEll, 

Hmm, It Seems Like I am Forgetting Something...

Oh, yeah...I seem to have forgotten about this blog, then I forgot the password to even go in an write a post. About the same time I forgot that I was following the Weight Watchers plan.....


So, now that I have admitted my mistakes I guess it is time to get back on track.

School/Work - There are only 10 more days of school!!!!! I have to go back two additional days for inservice days but that is ok. I am ready for summer though, at this point in the year I am so excited for summer vacation I can't stand it! Really, like it makes me crazy to think about the next 10 days knowing a much needed break is around the corner.

More Classes? - Yes, even though I swore off EVER taking another college course (I have 2 bachelors and a masters degree) I am in the process of gathering information to earn a certification in drivers education. The amount of extra money I would make for teaching driver's education after school through out the school year would give me a MAJOR boost to the ole paycheck.  It is a much better return on my money compared to what it cost me to earn my master's degree.  It is only 3 classes so it won't be too rough, I am just over the whole idea of being a student at this point.

Grant "Sick" - Monday morning was rough getting Grant to get ready for school. He was crying saying he had a really bad headache and that his stomach hurt. Of course, this information comes as we are supposed to be heading out the door to catch his bus. I made the quick decision to take him with me to my school. Shortly after that though he seemed to feel much better. I guess he just needed a go to work with mom day. Don't worry that is the first day he has missed all year and he is on the honor roll, so don't call child services on me it was hardly educational neglect. Besides, he listened to my lectures in Earth Science and Biology and he was able to contribute to the discussion and let me just tell you...that boy is pretty bright, he made me proud!

Grant has Spunk -After school on Monday Grant decided to walk around the school while I did a little bit of work in my room. At one point he had been gone awhile. I was just about to go look for him. Before I could do that though he came back...where had he been? He found a party! And proceeded to party with the group.  The Debate Team was having a pizza party for the of the year and Grant totally jumped in and made himself at home. If nothing else I can say he is not shy.

Puppy - My dad's hunting dog had puppies three weeks ago. She ended up having three puppies; two girls and one boy. When they were first born the girls were just a little bit bigger than the boy. Fast forward 2 weeks....umm, the girls were pretty big an the boy well he was barely growing. I watched over the dogs last weekend and became increasingly concerned as the girls seemed to just keep growing and leaving their brother behind. In fact, if he was nursing the girls immediately went over and knocked him off. Poor little guy didn't stand a chance against his GIANT sisters. (When my dad is around the mom won't lay down to let the pups nurse because she gets so excited, so he had never seen this.)  I decided it was time to intervene. I started removing the girls from the dog pen so the little tiny guy could nurse. I have also started supplementing his feeds with some puppy like formula. My dad took all three of the pups to the vet today to get them checked out. I was nervous what the vet was going to say about the boy. Good News! All three puppies are doing fine; the girls just happen to be HUGE an the boy well he is tiny but his vitals were all good and the vet didn't see any concerns other than his tiny size. We will continue taking the girl puppies out of the pen a few times a day so he can eat without being knocked down and I will supplement a couple of times when needed. I noticed tonight he seemed stronger now that he is getting his individual feeding time and the supplements. Time will tell, I hope he makes it.

Puppy Weights from today.
Girl #1  - 4 lbs 12 oz
Girl #2  - 4 lbs 8 oz
Tiny Boy - 1 lb 7 oz   (Do you see why I was so freaked out?!?!?!)

Summer Job - I am spoiled! I haven't worked during the summer for the last 9 years. I can't believe it has been that long. Anywho, I decided I needed to do something to start making a little extra cash, give me a purpose over the summer, and to get out of the house and see people who are not related to me.  So, my student teacher from this semester got me a job at the reception center that she bartends. I will work on Saturday evenings for $10 an hour plus tips. The tips + hourly pay will give me a chance to earn some cash to pay for all the fun stuff we like to do over the summer without going into debt. Wish me luck, the only bar experience I have is from the other side of the bar....and lots of that though. I told the manager that and he thought I would do fine.  ;-)


My Desk is a Wreck - Not that you care but my desk at school is a MESS! Every day I tell myself I need to clean it up but something always happens and I can't seem to make a dent in cleaning it up. Maybe tomorrow....

Well I better go to bed. Did I mention there are only 10 days of school left? Not that I am counting or anything... :-)

Talk to you soon,
Julie

Follower #2!!!

Welcome Honeybee!

The End has Come!

The end of spring break that is. We had a fantastic and relaxing week off work/school. We didn't go anywhere just did some stuff around the house, went out with friends a few times, went to the museum and last but not least we just returned from the Le.gofest.

L.ego Kids.fest
Let me just say L.ego Kids.fest was fun and absolutely a genius idea. Parents were buying their kids L.ego sets left and right. I know my son has a renewed interest in playing with the L.ego's he already owns. At first it was a little bit overwhelming and it made it difficult to be able to figure out where to start. Once we settled in we began to enjoy the day. My nephew went with us and we only had to use the "Lost Parent" service one time. lol. The boys are big enough to walk a little bit by themselves with me nearby waiting in a line. Well they got a little too engrossed in what they were doing and I couldn't see them. They lost track of time and instead of searching through thousands of people I went straight to the booth and had them paged. Thankfully we were reunited within minutes. I was trying not to panic but trust me I didn't let them out of my sight again, whewhhhhh!



Lightening McQueen - They said it took 1800 hours to build him.




G-Man and my nephew, can you figure out which one is 8 years old and hasn't realized that the obnoxious pictures will haunt him as he gets older.

Not Loose, but Then Again Not Tight!
My W.eight Wat.chers project has been a little lax the last week. I don't think I have done too badly but I didn't count points. However, about 10 minutes after I put on my jeans this morning I realized they were looser than they have been in the last few months! It made me feel better and I hope that is enough to keep me motivated for the next week.

Wahhh, Spring Breaks Over!
While I hate the idea that spring break is over and I will be back to getting up at 6:00 a.m. I know it will be for only 7 more weeks. Then we will have 11 weeks off for summer vacation. I am definitely looking forward to summer vacation. We have passes for the local amusement park for this summer and I am looking forward to going there at least 1x a week. The rest of the time I spend swimming. It's a rough life, I know but hey someone has to do it, it might as well be me. What do you do for fun during the summer?

I Have a Follower!

Yay!!!!! Hi Sarah! I am so happy to have you as a follower... Hopefully there will be more to join us soon.

Thank you!

Woo Hoo!!!! Vaction is planned!

Well, I did it, I made plans for a trip for this summer. It's not exactly a super exciting trip but I know G-Man t will enjoy it and it will be fun. We are going to go to North Carolina and he is going to go to a day camp for Animal Studies on a college campus for 4 hours a day. I have a very close friend who is a professor on this campus and we will stay with them and enjoy the mountains and the college town when G-Man is not in the camp. I will take a few books and my hiking shoes and enjoy exploring the town while he is at the camp. In the evenings we will hang out with my friend, her husband, and their toddler. I am so excited! I have been on many, many, many vacations from my former days of working for an airline. I haven't had flight benefits for a few years and I am beginning to appreciate trips like this even more.

We are on spring break and overall it has been a pretty low key week. Yesterday, we went to the museum with my mom. While we were getting ready to go to the museum he said he was excited about going. I asked him what he was the most excited for? He said because he got to go with, "Gram and you." I said, "That's sweet, thank you." He said, "Yeah, so when I annoy one of you I still have someone to talk to..." He is such a stinker!

Well, I better get outside and get some mowing done. Given I am starting in the middle of March, I am anticipating mowing for 6 months this year! Ugh, the price we are paying for a fantastic spring with great weather.

Back on Track

Today, I will get back on track. I have slipped off the track of recording what I am eating on my Weight Watcher's online program. I don't think I have done horribly bad but I am not sure of the flex points I still have available to me. I guess my punishment should be for the rest of the week that I stick to my allotted amount and only go over if I exercise and I have extra points for that reason. Ugh! Why did I do this? I know why, because I gave in one day and have a little more than I was supposed to and avoided the situation by simply not tracking my points. Yeah, that worked....NOT!

Ok, time to go back to cleaning....right after I logged what I ate for breakfast today.

My Enthusiasm is Waining!

Until 2 days ago I was facing the subject of eating healthy and following Weight Watchers with enthusiasm and devotion. Yesterday I managed to somehow end up at BW3's....I am not sure how that happened but 6 boneless wings later, some potato wedges with cheese, and a tall bud-light later I went home. I know I need to be able to go out occasionally and eat foods like this but it made it hard for me to feel like I had had a good day. Today, I know I ate ok but not great. I guess I should go to bed now (8:07 pm) so I don't eat anything else. I weigh in tomorrow morning so hopefully I will see a loss so I can regain my enthusiasm.

Spring break begins tomorrow at 2:54 p.m. and I am so ready for a little break from the students. Although, I would say they have been behaving better the last couple of days than they have for weeks. I hope they fall back into the routine when we return from spring break.

Speaking of spring break, we are just mainly going to be relaxing and doing a few fun things here and there.

Ideas for spring break include:

• Movie
• Museum Center and Imax movie
• Indianapolis to visit a college friend.
• Maybe stay in a hotel while in Indy so G-Man can swim.
• Columbus to go to the COSI museum
• Lego's Kidsfest
• Attempt to stay home and save $$$$$$
• Clean the house
• Organize stuff
  

Hopefully, I can make it until tomorrow without eating anything else...wish me luck.

Patience and Determination

I didn't go to work today because I had two appointments. I just have to say, I have always thought if needing to take a day of it should be a Friday. Not any more! If I have to take a day off work (which is not very often 1-2x a year) in the future it will definitely be a Monday if I can arrange it. I loved that Sunday night I was not rushing to get everything finished before starting the work week. Of course, that just means it's now Monday night and my house is a wreck and I still haven't folded the laundry I avoided last night. UGH!

After our dentist appointments we had a great afternoon/evening. We did some browsing, shopping, and I even spoiled Grant a bit and we went to Chuck E. Cheese for dinner and some game playing. Tomorrow morning is going to be rough. He didn't' get to sleep until 10:00 p.m. which is and hour after his normal bedtime.

Weight Watchers is still going strong. I finally understand the saying, "Thin feels better than food tastes (or something like that.)"I am continuing to realize the burden of eating out of control had on my mind and body. Even though I am just beginning this journey I had another confidence filled day knowing I was fully invested in this new beginning for myself. While shopping tonight I didn't feel fat or frumpy I just simply opened my eyes to all the beautiful clothes at Macy's and understood that if I continued on this path in a few short months I could reward myself with a piece of clothing that I could not possibly wear before this journey began.

Time to try out the Memory foam pillow I splurged on today. Hopefully, it will help relieve some of the neck issues I have.

Grocery Success

Well, I went to the grocery. I spent $94 and there was not a single thing in my cart that was bad for us. I am so happy! We had a delicious dinner and desert. My fridge and kitchen is packed full of healthy food that tastes good. Here to a great week.

P.S. I walked again this evening for 40 minutes at a pretty fast pace. :-)

Sunday Morning Ramblings

It's time to go to the grocery. Wish me luck as I try to purchase foods based on healthy meals and not from habit. I have a tendency to purchase the same stuff each time I go to the grocery. They are not always exciting or healthy. So, my plan is to with 3 or 4 different recipes in mind an then purchase some fruit and a few treats to look forward to all day long.

I treat myself to something special each night as a reward to a great day.

Exercise? Yes, yesterday I took a nice vigorious walk with my mom and my dogs. It lasted about 40 minutes and that added 4 points to my activity points.....YAY! I plan to do the same today. We have had such fabulous weather this winter and this weekend the weather has been in the 60's and Sunny. Beautiful weather for the beginning of March, I hope it sticks around for our spring break because I am not going on a trip and it would be great to have nice weather for the entire week.

Laundry? Yesterday I washed four loads of laundry but that was only sheets and blankets. So, today I guess I better get to the clothing so we have something to wear this week!

Cleaning? Hmm, hasn't happened yet this weekend. Definitely has to happen later today because the floors are d.i.s.g.u.s.t.i.n.g! Not to mention I would like to do a complete overhaul of my bedroom.

Daniele? He has had a great weekend. He didn't do much more than play but he had a blast doing that. He enjoyed the musical we went to see last night.

Well, I guess it's time to go to the grocery and get this day started. Until next time...

Trying this Again with a New Focus

I did it! I finally decided it's time to take charge of my life and find ways to help me be happy and actually live my life instead of just going through the motions.

My child is still my focus. Work is still a priority. Family is still a focal point in my life.

So, what was missing?

ME!

I live a rather solitary life once I reach the weekends. I often come home from work on Friday and that is it, I don't make plans with my friends, I don't go out an meet new people, I don't go outside my comfort zone. So, what do I do? I sleep, watch TV, take care of my son, clean, laundry, groceries.

Life is not supposed to be like this. Right? How did I get here? How can I get out of here and start living again?

So, here is what I have decided to do....join Weight Watcher's online. I have tried Weight Watcher meetings in the past and was somewhat successful for awhile at least. Then I found I would be too busy with work and running my son to his activities to really be devoted to the plan and going to the meetings. So, I am trying the online route for now. The online tools are great and now that I have a smart phone and access to computers at home and school I have no excuses of it being inconvenient.


I have been "thinking" about doing something about my weight for years. The key word there is "thinking." I thought about my weight and how I was disappointed in myself many times a day. I would just become discouraged and got into the habit of eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and before I knew it I had gained 30 MORE pounds. I found myself staying home if I didn't have to work, avoiding social situations, and being focused only on my son and ignoring my needs.

I finally joined Weight Watchers (again) on March 4, 2012. I guesstimated my weight to be 230 lbs. I haven't been on a scale in months and the weight was in the high 220's so I figured that was a decent enough guess. I have chosen to weigh myself on Fridays on the scale in the nurses office of the school I teach in, so I did that yesterday and was nervous my weight would actually be over 230! Thankfully, I weighed in at 224.5 lbs. I don't really believe I lost 5.5 lbs in 5 days but I was proud of myself because I know had to have lost a pound or two or three this week. Next week will be the true test of weight loss because I will have "real" weight to compare to as I check my weight.

I have had a range of thoughts and emotions this week. This point system has really made me see that my eating was out of control. Eating anything and everything I desired without concern over how it would effect me. Then later I would spent a lot of time thinking about how I felt fat, like a failure, depressed, sad, angry. In the past couple of years I would say most days I felt bad about how I looked and felt because of my weight MANY times a day. This week I didn't feel that way at all because I finally felt like I was in control. I don't feel like the Earth has shifted or that I have complete control over the situation but I do have confidence that I haven't had in a long time and I was at peace with my body knowing I was doing something for ME!




Prom - Feeling like one of the "big" girls.

College not feeling thin but feeling good because I had conquered the freshman 15 by losing the weight over the summer.


Feeling great because my weight was lower than it had been in years!
My confidence was high and I was proud of myself....it didn't take long for
me to feel out of control and the weight started creeping back on.

Two years ago at Easter. I am a little bigger than this now but this was the beginning of spinning completely out of control and just giving up.

Wow! That Was a Long Break!

Well, the 2010-2011 school year came and went and I am just coming back to this blog. I will try to blog periodically. Wish me luck.

Is It Possible?

I can't believe I am actually going to admit my thoughts by recording them in this blog. I really want school to start ASAP! I am bored and in a rut at home. I am excited to get my classroom ready for school (although at the high school level there is a lot less decorating.)

I am looking forward to the structure of going to work 5 days a week. I want Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to mean something again. During the school year I look forward to the weekend, during the summer days just run together. I volunteered today at Crayons 2 Computers so I could get some school supplies for my classroom. I had to laugh because many of the teachers who came through my "checkout" had no idea what today's date was. I have this same problem in the summer, each day runs into the next.

Another "downside" of being off work all summer is that it is EXPENSIVE! I spend so much more money in the summer than I do during the school year. I know I am not going to get a much sympathy from this post.

I am thinking that just maybe the "year around" school schedule may be nice.

Amazing News

A good friend of mine has struggled with infertility for years (I think about 7.) They have tried just about every type of fertility treatment possible. Most of the treatments were not covered by insurance. The experience took a tole on their marriage, friendships (she began to seclude herself from her lifelong friends), and not to mention their life savings.

They were extremely frustrated because they had basically been told there was no possible way she would become pregnant even with reproductive help. Nor would her body accept the development of a growing fetus. Last summer they began to accept their fate and began the process of private adoption. Again, a very expensive measure in their quest to become parents.

Earlier this summer a birth mother tried to scam them but fortunately the adoption agency knew about this lady and warned them.

Well, guess what!?!? You guessed it! She is pregnant. She is 10 weeks pregnant and in shock. She doesn't understand why her body finally decided to work the way it was designed but we are so extremely excited!

I am holding my breath until she makes it into the 2nd trimester because we all know the chance of miscarriage decreases dramatically after 12 weeks. When she called to tell me about the baby I had goose bumps and cried. I am so happy for them and I feel like I will get my friend "back." If that makes sense. Does that make sense?

Slowly Returning to Normal

Well, it has been 3 days since the unfortunate events occurred. I am still on edge in the evening. Yesterday I noticed I was ok until 8:30 p.m. Then I was jumpy again. I hope this subsides soon.

Accidents Happen :-(

Wednesday started out like any other summer day. We went swimming at my parents house with family and then I went to dinner with my cousin. We had a nice time talking and catching up. I came home to an empty house because G-Man was spending the night at my parents house. I decided to look up some information on recycling in my area (our area is WAY behind the recycling trend.) About 30 minutes after I arrived home my TV was on, the doors and windows were shut because the AC is on, I had a fan on, and I was searching the Internet. I heard some noise on my porch, as I realized it was my neighbor, she walked in, what she said next will never be forgotten. "Don't you hear that?" She then went on to explain a friend who is on the fire department had called her and said there was a possible drowning on our road. When I looked outside there were a half dozen emergency vehicles at my neighbors house. I was frantic. I found my phone (in case my parents called because they heard of the drowning.)

We walked across the street to find several fireman carefully searching the pond while friends were hysterical on the shore. It was heart wrenching, then the brother and parents of the missing boy arrived. That was the hardest thing I have ever witnessed. Every couple of minutes more people from the EMT's or fire department came. Eventually, what felt like an eternity water rescue arrived. However, I knew by the amount of time that had passed and how the water rescue, EMT's, and fireman were reacting this was no longer a rescue but the recovery of a body. After a short period of time we came back to my yard and gathered with our other neighbors and waited. It was horrible. Finally, an hour or so later they found the young man who had went in the water but never came up was recovered.

I did not know the young man, I know people who did and they all said he was a great guy. I have had a hard time with these events. I have a hard time being in my house at night now. I don't like taking the dogs out of the house at night to let them go to the bathroom.
I know it is from the events that occurred but it has me shaken. I don't know why I am so spooked. The drowning was an unfortunate accident but not a violent crime. Why, am I feeling this way? I would expect to feel more threatened if it had been a crime but accidents happen.

I can't even imagine how the friends are feeling who were swimming with the young man are handling this. I can't imagine the heartache the parents are feeling. I don't know how the family who owns the property and pond where the accident occurred are feeling.

Feeling Lonely

Hmm, At this point this blog thing seems a little lonely as it is a one person party for the time being.

Anyhoo, Today, We visited with friends who were visiting from Arizona. We enjoyed the time and G-Man had a blast with my friend's 10 year old son. This was a bittersweet visit. You see my high school friend brought his new (live in) girlfriend. I hate to say it but I just don't see the chemistry or connection. In addition he is a divorced dad with 2 kids and no interest in having more kids. She has never been married and does not have children. She REALLY wants to have a child. I feel like she is "barking up the wrong tree." I really feel she is gaga for him but he is just settling. I hope they figure it all out before either of them invest more time

Just for the record G-Man was fantastic today and I had a lot of fun with him.

Trying this again...

I can't believe that I originally started the blog a year ago, made one post, and never went back to post again. My life is basically the same but I have done a lot of soul searching and learned that I need to reach outside of my comfort zone. I need to look at the reasons why I do what I do. I have read a lot of different blogs and I have begun to understand the therapeutic value of pouring out your feelings and thoughts to "strangers." I hope to join the blog world and make friends with people with similar concerns and triumphs in life.

So, what am I concerned with in my life?


* Single parenting, where is the balance in my romantic life and protecting my son (and myself) from the heartbreak of relationships?

* Why do I continue to be overweight, especially when I was formally a successful athlete?

* Do I experience some depression? If I do, is it the key to the lack of motivation I have?